One of the most effective techniques for dealing with anger is to remove yourself from the situation. Taking some time out will give you space to let the anger subside and for you to regain control. It is an excellent way of defusing a tense situation, so you can come back later and try to resolve the problem.
Take the following steps to build time-out in your anger management plan.
1. Plan ahead
If you have trouble managing your anger response, the best thing you can do is plan ahead, so you know what to do when you recognize those feelings rising up inside. Think of where you would go and if you want anyone with you to help you. Include your favorite calming down techniques like walking, or deep breathing.
2. Have a time-out script
Work out beforehand exactly what you want to say when you need to take a time-out. Don’t use blaming words which will add fuel to the fire. Just say something like, “I’m starting to feel upset. I need a break and calm down.” Make sure the other person knows you will come back when you’re calm to resolve the situation.
Make sure you keep it together long enough to deliver your lines. Keep breathing and in control. This is about managing your anger safely.
3. Go into time-out mode
Time-out isn’t about brooding or getting razzed up for a fight. It’s to give you some safe space to calm down. Use your favorite mindfulness techniques to bring down your emotional temperature.
Have a glass of water or a healthy snack if you missed lunch. Practice mindful calming breathing. If you have a time-out, buddy let them help you.
4. Go back
Your time-out session is literally about buying you time to be able to deal constructively with a conflict situation. Complete the circle by going back and thanking the other person for their understanding and patience. If it’s appropriate, you can work on resolving the situation now or making a time to do so.
Time-out is not The Answer for dealing with anger, but it is a very useful tool to have as part of your anger management strategy. If you decide it’s a good tool for you, talk it through with your boss and your colleagues, maybe your friends and family so they know what’s going o and support you. They will probably be delighted to help you and respect you for your commitment to do better.